Friday, April 23, 2010

Change of pace

Hey guys, a little change of pace on my blog today. It's invisible to all my readers because I cover this page with pretty pictures and minimal text, but I've been going through a lot of mental and emotional stress these past few months, and especially the past few weeks. This blog is more or less a reflection of how I'd like my life to be -- these things and nothing else. But of course, no person's life is this blessed. Today, I'd like to offer up a little piece of my mind instead.

Have you ever had a dream you were afraid to chase?

Whether it's career related or relationships, has the possibility of failure ever deterred you from trying?

I've always been adamant about pursuing whatever it was that I was passionate about. For the longest time I believed it was photography (and I still do). But truth be told, I'm frightened of the possibility of failure. How many people aspire to become photographers and actually live out their dream? At least to the extent that one can declare "successful" and survive on it?

Of course, I didn't walk this road without a backup plan. I am an Advertising double major and I've interned at a couple of advertising agencies. It's something I also enjoy, I am good at, and would be a more stable career plan, which is essential because I've got quite a large load of college loans to pay off.

So now the fork in the road enters, and I question myself: Am I only pursuing advertising out of fear of failure in photography? Or do I actually like advertising? Which one am I better at?

If photography is my one true love, shouldn't I stop side tracking myself with advertising? Go for it full force?

So many questions are starting to infiltrate my mind. I have one year left till graduation and I am planning to spend my last semester in an exchange program in Singapore. Now add in another crazy part to the equation -- how to pursue my dreams in an unfamiliar country?


I want to challenge myself. Throw myself into the woods and see if I'll survive. 

I'm frightened of failure, but I don't want it to deter me. I suppose I'd rather fail and learn from my mistakes than never try at all. I hear so many horror stories from adults who once had dreams of becoming an artist, actor, or whatever it was they wanted and they decided to go with their back-up career and do their "hobby" on the side. Then slowly but surely, their work became predominant and they put their true passions in life aside. They make up excuses like "it was just a hobby anyways," or "I was never good enough" without ever giving themselves a chance to thrive. Had they given 100 percent, perhaps they would've succeeded.

That's what I'd like to believe anyways, because I'm about to take some crazy risks in pursuit of what I believe will make me happy. Yet I can't help but stare at the safety lines around me. Why NOT choose a career in advertising that I enjoy, and be financially secure? I fear that I'm settling... or am I?

The thought has crossed my mind to merge the two, somehow, but no concrete ideas have formed on how to make that happen, at least not in the near future. here's to throwing myself into the water, and seeing if I'll learn to swim that way. I'm still not exactly sure which path to take, but I promise myself that no matter what, I will pursue whatever it is I am passionate about and pursue it full force. That includes career, relationships, and everything else in life that I want to accomplish.

"Reason is afraid of defeat, but intuition enjoys life and its challenges." -Paulo Coelho

Take care everyone, and don't forget to live to your fullest. Only you can write your own future, don't ever let anyone take that from you. Life's too short to not pursue who you're in love with and what you love.


Lizzie Chen said...

Liang! I totally understand what you are going through! I think I am almost insane for getting my masters in photojournalism next fall!!! But I guess it's better to try and fail (hopefully succeed) than to know that we never even attempted to pursue our dreams!

I think you're a wonderful photographer and very talented! I know that you CAN make a career out of photography! :)


Kat said...

I think it's important to face your fears... and one reason why I think you're going to be a success is because you fear failure so much and yet you're still [relatively] willing to attack it by the balls. Sometimes you just need a little pep talk to get you back on track. You have enough motivation of your own to see you through... you just need a quick word of encouragement or a second opinion to help you see your way.

I have no fortune-teller words of guarantee to prove that you'll be able to make it, but I have faith in you and you'll regain your faith in yourself.

Anonymous said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

IchigoBunnie said...

hey i found ur blog thru soompi :)

im happy to see a fellow houstonian blogger! yay! :)

This post of urs made me think a lot. I fear failure too. I have so many things I want to do--some even very simple and very easy to accomplish, but I always think "omg what if it doesn't work out".

My mom has engraved into my mind that failure shouldn't happen. It's bad and I shouldn't make mistakes. I feel like most Asian cultures are trained to be conservative with their actions, as in take the "safe route".

im still sorta battling this issue on taking chances and living life to the fullest. lol

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