My blog sucks. Here's why:
1. I don't update enough
Well, this is obvious. I update like twice a month. It's really sad. The problem is I don't think I have anything interesting to say! I'd rather not bore people with random babbles about absolutely nothing just to fill up space. On the other hand, not filling it at all = this blog sucks.
2. There is no real content
So I throw up some cutesy photos every once in a while, and then what? There's no real content on this page, it's all fluff and that brings up my next reason...
3. This blog is censored
Yes, this blog is mad censored. No one is forcing me, but I censor the crap out of myself. Why? Because I fear my "future employer" will find it and disapprove of my colorful personality should I choose to display it.
Schools, HR staff, working professionals, et al -- ALL throw this threat down students' throats these days. "What you post on the internet is permanent." "Don't post anything online that you wouldn't want your grandma/mom/future kids to see." Taking all of this into consideration, I've completely shut myself up and filled this space up with perfectly good and likeable things. I mean, when you come here and read this space, I seem like a perfectly normal, fun-loving, likeable girl right?
No bitchyness (no one wants to hire a ranting brat), no crude jokes (must be politically correct in office spaces), no scandalous photos (not that those even possibly exist), and worst of all, nothing that shows any personality in me. BUT THIS BLOG IS ABOUT ME!! WHY IS IT NOTHING LIKE ME?????
4. I'm writing to please others
In relation to above reason, I am pleasing others rather than myself. The conundrum is I also thrive on comments. It's nice when someone takes the time to pat you on the back and throw you a little nibble known as a "comment" to show that they spent time to read your post, and actually took the time to tell you their opinion on something that took you quite some time to produce.
So I started noticing that the more pictures I posted, the more comments I usually got (I guess because it's easier to skim and easy to throw up a comment like "Nice pics" rather than something of more time, thought and substance). However, on the posts that I ventured out to be slightly more "edgy" and honest (where I talk about insecurities, fears, whatever) -- NO ONE COMMENTS. WHY??
It got to be discouraging. Maybe my worries just aren't relateable. Maybe I shall be FOREVER ALONE with my gripes about life. Maybe people just don't care. Or maybe people feel awkward to say something about a personal topic when they don't know the person that well. Eitherway, it got to feel kind of pointless even posting these musings to the public if no one wanted to see it.
5. It's not really valuable
What the heck is the point of visiting my blog anyways? I know a lot of people say they write their blog "for themselves." I'll be honest and tell you that's not why I'm here. I'm here because I want people to read and see my stuff. If it was for me and me alone, I'd keep a private journal (which I do, for those really melodramatic moments in my life). This place exists on the internet and even has a custom domain because I want people to read it!! Maybe it's an egotistical sense of self-importance where I feel like people should care about what I have to say, but I have to be honest with myself and admit this blog sucks because there is absolutely no value behind it. There's no reason to read it, really, unless you're just obsessed with me.
I had an epiphany that if I really want people to read my blog, I have to change the aforementioned five things that are murdering it right now.
Why five? I could've probably condensed it to three, or expanded and added on to it to eight or ten, but I like the way the number "5" looks all big and bold, so I went with five. Five is a pretty number.
Anyways, it would be nice if you commented. I mean, you don't HAVE to. But you'd be invalidating everything I said above. And that would make me sad.
= SAD
On an ironic and self-suicidal note, I am publishing this blog post as I am beginning my job search. This blog is indexed by Google and shouldn't really be hard to find as I link to it on my Twitter and LinkedIn too. But my hope is that either a) they won't dig so deep, or b) whatever place I work for will ideally value my honesty and ability to self-analyze and critique and view that as admirable! Or c) I will become independently wealthy within the next month.
